I know Nike made this statement big in athletics and exercise years ago. We see the swoop and we automatically get it, and yes today was one of those days that I had to “just do it.”
This past year I have poured a lot of my spare “work out” time to yoga and pursuing my 200 yoga teacher training. I am short 2 hours and a book report to receive that certificate, but I am seeing that finish line this week. In the fall I messed up knee… again. I did a little on-line re-hab, but the budget cut that, so I was on my own. Running was out, but I would walk… sometimes.
The last couple of weeks despite the rising heat, my feet have hit the pavement. My soul longs to run, and yet every step feels heavy, my body feels awkward as I plunge forward, but forward I move.
Today was no exception. I sat groggy at the counter reading mindless facebook (forgive me some of you do share great stuff) and all I could think was I needed to get on with the day. It was only 73 degrees out the sky was clear blue, and a slight breeze was present. I laced up the shoes, turned on mapmyrun aka walk, and was off… walking. As I turned one corner I pushed forward to move a little faster, a jog of sorts. I tried not to think too much about how I was moving and just move. I tried to remember the days when this seemed effortless, well except for the first mile, but today the first block feels weighty, my gate feels uneven, I feel stiff… let it go, my mind says, then the all too familiar tweek of pain in the knee and fear starts rising up… let it go… but I stop and start walking, and analyzing every last step. I blame it on needing new shoes, don’t push before I have good equipment and yet… let it go, whispers in my ear.
Why do I want to run so bad? Why is this so important for me? I want to get back to the feet pounding, the feel of loosing myself in the movement. Don’t I get some of that with my yoga? It’s not the same my mind says, and my body tells me to move, to feel the heat, to feel the breeze, to let go!
Hebrews 12:1-2 come to mind as a memory of my Dad floats across my vision, running the race with endurance, forgetting the past, moving forward, “looking to Jesus the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross”… I know, how cliché to pick a running scripture to talk about the struggles of running, or for that matter, moving forward, moving in life when everything around you feels heavy, when you don’t realize there is a weight on your shoulders until you try to move freely, to shake it loose… to let go.
So I keep moving. Every few blocks I might jog a little, but I keep moving, trying to let go of anything physical (a few extra pounds) but more so mentally anything that is weighing my heart and spirit down to run well the race that was set before me. I don’t run alone, I run with the author and perfect who wrote my story. Who knew that I would struggle with these steps. Who knows that I struggle with the here and now, but to desperately wants to let go of those things that hinder running the good race.
My Dad was a runner in High School. He never really talked much about it, and I wonder if he was a good runner? My Dad was an emotional runner for a while… tell he let go, and let God. Maybe that’s why Hebrews 12:1-2 was one of his favorite verses, I know it is one of mine for this reason.
So I run, or I strive to run well. It’s not always going to feel right. Sometimes I will walk, who knows there may be days I will have to crawl, but I will move. I will move forward, shedding what no longer serves me and run with endurance… yet another reminder of my Pop’s. Just weeks before Daddy died he was still striving, moving forward. I remember he kept bugging my Mom about making sure someone would take his place delivering bread. I remember the night he passed, he was at the kitchen counter, walking weakly around it, moving, moving his hands as if working on something… never-ceasing to move until the job was done, and then as he said he could lay down.
I will keep lacing up the shoes and getting out there. It helps me to think, to stay balanced to explore the world around me and before me, to run with endurance the race that was set before me…
Just do it!